In which I empty a little bit of my brain onto a webpage.

If you are reading this, it means I actually decided to go ahead and publish this, and hold my breath for the reaction.

Right,

Social Justice. Equality for all yo'. Not exactly a new concept is it?

²⁸ There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.

Galatians 3:28

It's definitely not new, it's biblical.  But it's something that the world, as a whole is failing at. And when I say failing, I mean, failing. 

As a Brit, by default, I'm in the top 5% of the worlds wealthiest people. The Dominican Republic is officially a 'middle income' country. But there are thousands of children (and adults)  that don't have access to any sort of quality medical care, and the free public hospitals are overflowing, resulting in a lack of proper treatment for those that get in. To be honest, they don't really have access to much of anything. I wouldn't call a tin shack a home.

Haiti, the Dominican's next door neighbour, is far worse off. And there are hundreds of other countries where people's living conditions are even worse.

And it sucks.

It's totally unfair. Horrible. Makes me want to scream and rage and shake my fists.

But that wouldn't help anyone.

And even if I spent my entire life campaigning, and fundraising, and I don't know... digging flipping latrines; It won't change the world. I'm not naive.

It would be incredibly easy to wave it all off sometimes. To say 'I give up, there's nothing I can do about it.'

But then, that would be going against every single one of my core beliefs. I might not change the whole world, but I think it would be a pretty good thing to at least try. Because I could alter someone's world. I could make a difference.

And I wouldn't be on my own. I couldn't do it at all on my own.

 I need God. I'm lucky that I have God.

And I'm not going to deny that over these last few months I haven't had some angry conversations with the man Himself, where I've whined at him like a petulant child. 'It's not fair! Why are there so many people like this? Why do some get help and others don't? What's the point? Why, why, why?'

And do you know, the only answer I've got back is; 'What are you going to do about it?'

That one stopped me in my tracks.

Because really, at the end of the day, it's the Human condition that's the issue here. Nation against Nation, man against man (and I mean that in the gender-encompassing sense of the word, I'm not being sexist here). People are constantly trying to one-up each other, to get ahead, to get better. And you can bet that they don't care who they have to step over to achieve it. Which then, in the long term, translates into countries unable to support themselves, lands full of starving people, and shored up with debts that they'll never feasibly repay.

It's an issue. And in unrelated news, I'll soon be going up for the understatement of the year award.

I'm not entirely sure where this post is going right now. It's currently a long winded ramble. It will probably remain a long winded ramble, even after I've edited it all. I apologise (Sort of. But not really.)

I could quote a load of largely unrelated stuff at you all that I've found out over the years, through spending far too much time reading newspapers and following links on the internet until I end up lost on Google Scholar. But I don't think that's entirely necessary, and it's a blog post you want to read, not a dissertation -- and me pretending to know anything about anything is just silly. And would probably be embarrassing too.

Anyway, I'm just writing down what I think, and trying to be honest about it.

Poverty sucks.

I remember the 'Make Poverty History' campaign, and going down to London to watch the concert in Hyde Park. It was 2005, so I would have been eleven. I was young enough to think that it would work.

It didn't quite work out. But it did make a difference. And I think, realistically, that's all we can hope for.

To make a difference.

To let this generation of people; the most privileged lot of all our predecessors, stop and look around ourselves once in a while. To realise that we actually hold the power within ourselves to change someone's life. It's simultaneously so little and so much to ask of somebody. But we can do it. You can do it. I can do it.

And if you don't think you can, ask God. He's always willing to lend a hand.

Just think about it. That's all I can reasonably ask.


So, that's me done.

And as ever, I send my love and prayers your way, whoever you happen to be, if you've managed to make it to the end of this post. Remember to check out Project Isobel , and I'll update you all soon on how the fundraiser goes. And keep in touch! Feedback (even negative stuff, I can take it) is equivalent to an internet hug.  Which is always good.

Lauren

x

Bunting, and other assorted events.

You may have guessed from the post title that this one's a little bit about bunting.

More to the point, about a craft/activity afternoon I led with a group of local children where we all made bunting.

And paper moustaches on sticks, but that comes later.

As does the bunting I'm afraid. For now I'll have to leave you hanging like the paper flags on the wall. (Geddit? No? Okay.)

I'll attempt to stop writing like such a twerp now, and move on to something more serious and hopefully semi-coherent.

But before any of that, a picture of the Project's ducklings to put you all in a pleasant frame of mind:

Aw.

My time so far in the Dominican Republic (a whole month already) has already taught me a lot.

Not so much about 'me' - although that one is being muddled through too, and a key lesson there is about the use of the pronoun;

*deep breath*

It shouldn't be about 'me' at all - society's built on the mindset of 'me' and 'what can I get?' and 'what's in it for me?' or 'why should I?' and in my humble, sorely uneducated and unauthoritative opinion that's where a lot of the worlds problems lie... we're all too bothered about ourselves and what we can gain, often at the expense of others.

And if we maybe started looking outwards even just a little bit more, and treating others in the way that we think we deserve, then perhaps there wouldn't be such a great imbalance between the rich and the poor, the child that gets an education and the child that has to beg on the street, the woman that fears the birth of a child could kill her and the woman in the private suite complete with jacuzzi bath and classical music.

But, don't take my word for it obviously. Take God's.

They are to do good, to be rich in good works, to be generous and ready to share, thus storing up treasure for themselves as a good foundation for the future, so that they may take hold of that which is truly life.

1 Timothy 18-19 (ESV)

Now, I know that many of you will be reading this and will have inwardly cringed at the mention of God, and the whole quoting-the-bible-at-you deal. But honestly, cross my heart and hope to die, stick a needle in my eye (please don't) a relationship with God; a free forever, open, unlimited data streaming, and no loss of signal contact ever, contract with Him?

Best. Thing. Ever.

It doesn't matter who you are or what you've done up until this point in your life. In fact, that's what has shaped you and made you, and God loves every ugly, shameful, keep it in the dark and don't feed it after midnight part of you... but if you open up to Him and let Him do his thing in your life, you get a new start and a chance to be the person you've always dreamed of, with a whole heavenly support team behind you all the way, screaming and yelling and fist pumping for you to keep going, cheering every time you do something different, a little bit less about you and more about others, and fully prepared to give you a spiritual hug and a whispered 'we'll do it better next time, together' when you don't quite reach the mark.

Because the Three-In-One-in-You is infinitely better than having to go it alone.

And the Three-In-One-in-Me, I can assure you, is exponentially better than me, myself and I.

I'll stop writing in never ending run-on sentences and confusing combinations now, and get back on topic.

And for a second, I'd appreciate it if you removed your view from whatever screen you're reading from, and took a look around you.

Done?


Does your view look anything like this?

Now, it's not a great picture, but it's enough to get an idea. Corrugated iron sheets,  wooden boards and breeze blocks cobbled together to resemble a house. This isn't a rare thing over here. Last week, we went to visit a woman named Yolanda, who had just given birth to her second son, Justin. We went to donate some clothes for her older son, and some that she could sell on (she sells second hand clothes to make a living), and to check on how she's doing after giving birth again.

Her Caesarean isn't healing properly, and she's at risk of a serious infection if it carries on as it is. They think the six week old baby has some kind of parasite in his digestive system.

There's no such thing as the NHS here. Good healthcare is expensive, and the public hospitals are often rudimentary at best. Yolanda and her two children live in a 2 Bedroom wooden shack which she shares with her Mother. They still cook over an open fire in a tin bucket inside, and live in an overcrowded area which is currently doubling as an insecure building site.

And yet Yolanda is bubbly, and generous, and so grateful for what she has got. Her two sons are absolutely beautiful, she was kind, hospitable and so happy to see us.

I don't know about you, but it made me think.

Yolanda with Gabriel, and me, hogging the baby.

 Yolanda and her family aren't a rare case. There are situations like this on practically every corner, and there are children here that aren't lucky enough to have a parent who can care for them at all.

The Project has the facility to take these kids in, and give them a loving, safe, supportive home, but it doesn't have the regular sponsorship to take them in on a permanent basis. And that's just... naff.

So anyway, that's just an example of how this experience is opening my eyes, and showing how much exactly I have to appreciate, and teaching me how much I have to give.

Relying on the premise that there are still people reading the post at this point, I'll move on to the aforemtioned bunting extravagansa now.

I am an ardent advocate of bunting and it's ability to make things look pretty - as well as being easy to make- so naturally I decided that it was the best activity to do with children who have never really had the chance to mess around with arts and crafts... it's just not something that's on the agenda here.

However, and luckily (?) for all involved, making stuff is always pretty high on my list of things to-do, especially things to-do with kids when there's too much garden for them to dissappear into during hide and seek.

When the kids were first introduced to the glue, paper, sequins, foam bits and pens, they were a little wary. They started slow, and hesitantly; dutifully applying bits to the triangles of paper when suggested. Then the dam broke, especially for this little boy, whose name I cannot attempt to spell correctly, but is pronounced 'yor-yo'

Well, I could attempt to spell it correctly, but it would probably be wrong. Anyway, once he got started he was a bunting making machine. And the others all followed suit too.

And now, to ease the pain on your eyes from all the words, I give you pictures:

And contrary to the expression on the little girls faces, they were having a great time. They just didn't appreciate my sneakiness with the camera.

So, by the end of the day all of the kids had made their own lengths of truly impressive bunting, and had managed to knot themselves in it before being untangled and walked home.

The highlight of my day was watching them run up to their parents and show them what they'd made. It was pure brilliance.

Oh, and of course the paper moustaches. The fact that they all went home holding them to their noses was hilarious.

I'd just like to take this time to say it was windy and I had PVA Glue in my hair.
Also, in honour of the moustaches, Huzzah.

If you've got to this point, thanks for sticking with it. And for that, I leave you with lots of love.

God Bless x

Settling in

Hello All!

I thought it might be a good idea to update you all on what´s been going down in the D.R. after over a week has already passed. I´m settling in well I think, although the first few days away from home, with three months ahead of me, were a little hard... but I´m feeling a lot better about it all now, and adjusting to this insane culture.

It´s been a busy week, watching and observing how the project runs, and smiling and waving a lot to make up for my lack of a grasp on Spanish. I´m picking it up slowly though... I can muddle my way through an introductory conversation, and get the gist of peoples conversations. I´m planning on getting better.

The centre acts as a kind of drop in for the local people, young and old. It´s hard to keep track of who comes and goes. The project runs a little shop, or ´colmado´for the locals, who are mostly extremely poor and can only afford small quantities of essentials. It´s well placed, as they´d otherwise have to travel for five miles to the nearest store on foot or, if they´re lucky, on one of those death trap bikes.

This week I got a chance to play basketball with one of the local boys that they call ´´little bird´, he´s 11 but could easily pass for about 7 yrs old. I showed him some of my moves. By which I mean I made myself a source of great comedy, but together we (he) mastered some trick shots like shooting from the tyres on the playground, and after spinning round in a circle.

I´m not built for sports, especially sports in heat.

I´ve also repainted the Project Isobel sign outside of the main gates that needed some attention, and as soon as I remember, I´ll attempt to post a picture. But if you´d like to see the grounds and the animals, and some of the children the project works with, check out Project Isobel.

I´ve been introduced to, and groomed the horses, and I got a chance to ride Jefe. Apparently my posture was good, but I was just grateful to have stayed on the horse. I´ve been involved in general duties, feeding the other animals, helping with the accounts and stocking the shop, keeping the project´s builiding tidy, and sorting out the toys and games in the kids dorm.

Speaking of which, I´m pretty sure there was a cockroach in one of the boxes, and I removed a giant spider corpse from the chess set. There´s also a giant spider, the size of the palm of my hand, living in my room somewhere. Occaissionally I catch a glimpse and scare myself silly for a bit. I much prefer the lizard that appears to have vacated the premises after I moved in. There are a lot of creatures of that kind here.

I wake up, and am immediately covered in dog slobber. Each of the dogs takes it in turn to do so, which is always delightful, I´ve just accepted it as fact now though.

But it´s all good! I´m safe, and settling in, and I´ve already got a great tan that has worked its way through my sunscreen. I´ll tell you all about the food I´m eating another time, because that´s good too.

So bye for now, please keep praying for me and the project, as it´s all needed. I thank God every day for the amazing work he´s doing with the project.

Time flies.

Well, it's now 2 weeks and 3 days 'til I go.

I'm sure it wasn't 5 minutes since this whole adventure was in the distant future and I was trying to figure out how to buy a plane ticket.

That one did take a while though.

And this whole journey has been absolutely amazing, it really has. The crazy thing is that it hasn't really began yet, but to bring me up to this point even, well, it's been an experience.

To begin with, I've come to realize just how grateful I am for my parents. Throughout this period of planning, fundraising and organising,  they've both given up so much time, going over every single detail of my trip with me, reminding me about vital things that I would have otherwise totally forgotten about, like Rabies vaccinations, and valid passports. They've sat with me when I've been gripped by fear, and just wanted to back pedal out of this entire thing, and go and do normal things instead, like spending a Summer with my friends.

They've encouraged, they've guided... they are two phenomenal people, and I am so overwhelmingly grateful and honoured to call them my parents. (So thank you both, I love you)

I've been made aware of how generous people can be when you present something they can believe in. From my amazing family getting behind me and giving more than I could ever have asked for, in finance and support; it has all meant so much - To people that I've never spoken to before, being so unbelievably generous with words of encouragement and donations towards the project, helping me to surpass my original fundraising target by far.

My friends, dedicated and encouraging, sitting with me week in, week out on a little table at Church and School, attempting to get every single person that walked past to buy a little black wristband. I'm pleased to say that they are now a common accessory, and still make me grin when I see a flash of 'A Better Future' on someone's wrist.

I obviously have to thank God too, I'm pretty sure that he's the one that's been orchestrating it all, right in the middle of the action. Well, I know it.

There are far too many people to name and thank on this post, but to every single one of you that has supported this adventure in any way, whether it was buying a wristband or asking a question about the Project, or something bigger, it's all meant so much to me, and it's kept me going when it all got a bit tricky. You've made a difference.

And all those pounds and pennies you donated? They are making a massive difference over in the Dominican Republic, currently feeding the hungry, and helping to maintain the Project's grounds so it will continue to be inhabitable and not destroyed by the heavy rainstorms and hurricane season, keeping a safe haven that way.  And that's only half of the money that's being used at the moment. Amazing isn't it? Those wristbands really are paving a better future for street children and abandoned, abused animals.

I'll be continuing this to let you all know what else your money has done, and will do whilst I'm actually there, trying to help a bit myself. One of my suitcases has already been packed, and then repacked, mainly because my Mum said my packing was awful.

I, personally, did not see any issue with it, but there you go.

The other one is half filled with donated stationery and school equipment for the children that come into the project, and is currently waiting on all of those last minute items that I need right up until I go.

And yes, I trip over both of them at least once a day, a painful reminder of where I'm going.

All of my vaccinations are complete, and I start my course of Malaria tablets the Sunday after next. I'm pleased to announce that all of the injections were in my arm, and the Rabies vaccine really isn't awful. The worst side effect I have is a dull ache in my left arm, but for all I know that could just be because I slept funny.

I think I'm nearly sorted, but there's bound to be something. There always is.

I've just got to remember to get through my two remaining exams (exciting times, looking forward to those) and make the most of my remaining time here in sunny ol' Coventry, then I'll be away for a while, and before you know it, I'll be back again. Just like that.

But to you all, thank you. Y'know, for everything.

‘Not to spoil the ending but everything’s going to be okay’

A modified version of the talk I gave at Ignite Youth on 18/5/12; It's still been floating around in my head, so I thought it might be a good idea to post it here. 

For a long time, I shaped who I was on the results I got at school. 

In my eyes, if I didn’t get grade A or higher, I was a failure. In my head, my grades made me who I was, and I believed that my intelligence was all I had to offer; it got so bad that I’d make myself ill with stress before exams because I was so scared of letting people down by not achieving what I thought I should. My grades were my focus and I expected to follow them up by going into medicine. It made sense to me, and when I told people my plans, they all approved.

This was my mistake, I sought the approval of people, not God. But still, I went about putting my ambition into action. To cut a very long story short, over the course of last year I stressed myself out to an absolutely ridiculous level – I was tired all the time, withdrawn, quiet and I’d be ill regularly.

 My family noticed, my friends noticed, my teachers noticed. I wasn’t myself. Then, after the summer of last year when we went to soul survivor, in the middle of worship I was pouring my heart out to God about my fear of the future and what I should do, and I literally felt the desire to study medicine leave through  my feet. It was a very strange feeling, but medicine just wasn’t in my heart any more.

And then results day came, and it was further confirmed by getting a C in Chemistry, a subject which although I resented, I still wanted an A in. I was crushed; what was I without good results? And what on earth was I going to do with myself? My fear of failure had, in my eyes, come right into reality and I was lost. The stress cycle began all over again, until I came before God once more, and gave everything to him, I let go of my plans, my ambitions, who I was, and like the song that we sing in church so often asked him to ‘break my heart for what breaks yours’. While I was praying, Jeremiah 29:11 was a bible verse that came to me, and I’m sure many of you know it...

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11

...Those words, I’m sure, get quoted at many of you an awful lot, but I honestly cannot over-emphasise how true they are; Our God, the God, loves us so much, and knows us more intimately than anyone on earth ever could. I had to go through a time of being lost and broken to strip away who I thought I was, the identity that people had placed on me because if the grades I received to discover who I really was, and amazing things have come out of it. 

I know now that I’m not Lauren with the good grades, I’m Lauren who’s a little bit odd, but who wants to help others, who wants to see justice for the poor, and to see an impact through the work that I do by the help of God. It was so hard for me to discover, and it involved a lot of tears and pain, but it really was so worth it because now I have the chance to do something I’d only dreamed of before the experience (That being travelling to the Dominican Republic to work with an amazing project, of course.)

I know for everyone exam season is right round the corner, and I’m not saying to you that you shouldn’t work hard. Do your best, but don’t let grades shape who you are because it’s NOT WORTH IT. At the end of the day, the grade you receive is the one that’s right for you, and it might close some doors, but if you put God first it really will be okay, because every door that closes is just another way for God to show you the path you’re supposed to be on, and let me assure you, it’s far better than the one you can dream up on your own. So try not to worry, and try not to fear, because like David said in Psalm 27 verse 1, 

The LORD is my light and my salvation; Whom shall I fear? The LORD is the strength of my life; Of whom shall I be afraid? 

And maybe for those of you that don't have, or struggle with, faith I really want to encourage you; it's okay to pray, even if it feels that there's nobody listening. Trust me, there is, and it makes you feel an awful lot better. 

TL;DR?  I hate to spoil the ending, but everything really is going to be okay.