Wednesday 13 June 2012

Time flies.

Well, it's now 2 weeks and 3 days 'til I go.

I'm sure it wasn't 5 minutes since this whole adventure was in the distant future and I was trying to figure out how to buy a plane ticket.

That one did take a while though.

And this whole journey has been absolutely amazing, it really has. The crazy thing is that it hasn't really began yet, but to bring me up to this point even, well, it's been an experience.

To begin with, I've come to realize just how grateful I am for my parents. Throughout this period of planning, fundraising and organising,  they've both given up so much time, going over every single detail of my trip with me, reminding me about vital things that I would have otherwise totally forgotten about, like Rabies vaccinations, and valid passports. They've sat with me when I've been gripped by fear, and just wanted to back pedal out of this entire thing, and go and do normal things instead, like spending a Summer with my friends.

They've encouraged, they've guided... they are two phenomenal people, and I am so overwhelmingly grateful and honoured to call them my parents. (So thank you both, I love you)

I've been made aware of how generous people can be when you present something they can believe in. From my amazing family getting behind me and giving more than I could ever have asked for, in finance and support; it has all meant so much - To people that I've never spoken to before, being so unbelievably generous with words of encouragement and donations towards the project, helping me to surpass my original fundraising target by far.

My friends, dedicated and encouraging, sitting with me week in, week out on a little table at Church and School, attempting to get every single person that walked past to buy a little black wristband. I'm pleased to say that they are now a common accessory, and still make me grin when I see a flash of 'A Better Future' on someone's wrist.

I obviously have to thank God too, I'm pretty sure that he's the one that's been orchestrating it all, right in the middle of the action. Well, I know it.

There are far too many people to name and thank on this post, but to every single one of you that has supported this adventure in any way, whether it was buying a wristband or asking a question about the Project, or something bigger, it's all meant so much to me, and it's kept me going when it all got a bit tricky. You've made a difference.

And all those pounds and pennies you donated? They are making a massive difference over in the Dominican Republic, currently feeding the hungry, and helping to maintain the Project's grounds so it will continue to be inhabitable and not destroyed by the heavy rainstorms and hurricane season, keeping a safe haven that way.  And that's only half of the money that's being used at the moment. Amazing isn't it? Those wristbands really are paving a better future for street children and abandoned, abused animals.

I'll be continuing this to let you all know what else your money has done, and will do whilst I'm actually there, trying to help a bit myself. One of my suitcases has already been packed, and then repacked, mainly because my Mum said my packing was awful.

I, personally, did not see any issue with it, but there you go.

The other one is half filled with donated stationery and school equipment for the children that come into the project, and is currently waiting on all of those last minute items that I need right up until I go.

And yes, I trip over both of them at least once a day, a painful reminder of where I'm going.

All of my vaccinations are complete, and I start my course of Malaria tablets the Sunday after next. I'm pleased to announce that all of the injections were in my arm, and the Rabies vaccine really isn't awful. The worst side effect I have is a dull ache in my left arm, but for all I know that could just be because I slept funny.

I think I'm nearly sorted, but there's bound to be something. There always is.

I've just got to remember to get through my two remaining exams (exciting times, looking forward to those) and make the most of my remaining time here in sunny ol' Coventry, then I'll be away for a while, and before you know it, I'll be back again. Just like that.

But to you all, thank you. Y'know, for everything.


Thursday 7 June 2012

‘Not to spoil the ending but everything’s going to be okay’


A modified version of the talk I gave at Ignite Youth on 18/5/12; It's still been floating around in my head, so I thought it might be a good idea to post it here. 

For a long time, I shaped who I was on the results I got at school. 

In my eyes, if I didn’t get grade A or higher, I was a failure. In my head, my grades made me who I was, and I believed that my intelligence was all I had to offer; it got so bad that I’d make myself ill with stress before exams because I was so scared of letting people down by not achieving what I thought I should. My grades were my focus and I expected to follow them up by going into medicine. It made sense to me, and when I told people my plans, they all approved.

This was my mistake, I sought the approval of people, not God. But still, I went about putting my ambition into action. To cut a very long story short, over the course of last year I stressed myself out to an absolutely ridiculous level – I was tired all the time, withdrawn, quiet and I’d be ill regularly.

 My family noticed, my friends noticed, my teachers noticed. I wasn’t myself. Then, after the summer of last year when we went to soul survivor, in the middle of worship I was pouring my heart out to God about my fear of the future and what I should do, and I literally felt the desire to study medicine leave through  my feet. It was a very strange feeling, but medicine just wasn’t in my heart any more.

And then results day came, and it was further confirmed by getting a C in Chemistry, a subject which although I resented, I still wanted an A in. I was crushed; what was I without good results? And what on earth was I going to do with myself? My fear of failure had, in my eyes, come right into reality and I was lost. The stress cycle began all over again, until I came before God once more, and gave everything to him, I let go of my plans, my ambitions, who I was, and like the song that we sing in church so often asked him to ‘break my heart for what breaks yours’. While I was praying, Jeremiah 29:11 was a bible verse that came to me, and I’m sure many of you know it...

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11

...Those words, I’m sure, get quoted at many of you an awful lot, but I honestly cannot over-emphasise how true they are; Our God, the God, loves us so much, and knows us more intimately than anyone on earth ever could. I had to go through a time of being lost and broken to strip away who I thought I was, the identity that people had placed on me because if the grades I received to discover who I really was, and amazing things have come out of it. 

I know now that I’m not Lauren with the good grades, I’m Lauren who’s a little bit odd, but who wants to help others, who wants to see justice for the poor, and to see an impact through the work that I do by the help of God. It was so hard for me to discover, and it involved a lot of tears and pain, but it really was so worth it because now I have the chance to do something I’d only dreamed of before the experience (That being travelling to the Dominican Republic to work with an amazing project, of course.)

I know for everyone exam season is right round the corner, and I’m not saying to you that you shouldn’t work hard. Do your best, but don’t let grades shape who you are because it’s NOT WORTH IT. At the end of the day, the grade you receive is the one that’s right for you, and it might close some doors, but if you put God first it really will be okay, because every door that closes is just another way for God to show you the path you’re supposed to be on, and let me assure you, it’s far better than the one you can dream up on your own. So try not to worry, and try not to fear, because like David said in Psalm 27 verse 1, 

The LORD is my light and my salvation; Whom shall I fear? The LORD is the strength of my life; Of whom shall I be afraid? 

And maybe for those of you that don't have, or struggle with, faith I really want to encourage you; it's okay to pray, even if it feels that there's nobody listening. Trust me, there is, and it makes you feel an awful lot better. 

TL;DR?  I hate to spoil the ending, but everything really is going to be okay.